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Sunday, October 15th, 2006

Time:10:14 pm.
Mood: surplus.
i've not really had a good day today, my morning was good, i went for a run but i went a bit too far and nearly died when i stopped and then had to walk home, it was ridiculous. i was literally weezing, it was so gross, but i had a nice shower and cleaned so i feel a lot better.

i feel incredibly unsafe in my accomodation actually, downstairs (i live on the second floor) in the first floor kitchen a random from the street came in and lifted one of the ceiling tiles and took a bag of drugs out and then came back and did it again. this place needs more security, so now, even when i am just sitting in my room, it is constantly going to be locked.

i went to basel in switzerland yesterday, i had a really nice time, it was just scarlett and i shopping the most of the day, and that was dead nice to actually spend some time and what not. the train journey to and from was a bit funny, we missed the first train so waited an hour and went to mulhouse, which wasn't fun (granted we only saw the area round the station) and then caught the next train to basel from there and then on the way back we stopped for a while in the middle of nowhere, you know what trains are like for delays and the like.

i really hate clothes shopping sometimes you know, i really do wonder how they expect to sell clothes, aside from the fact that the majority of stuff is crap. in h&m how do they call their size small "small" i'm by no means smaller than small, but that is the lowest size they go so that's shit, i can manage it to be fair and there are more awkward places. like zara, what a jokeshop, the lowest size they go to in mens is medium, fucking medium, and i actually saw quite a few things i liked there. i can and do wear childrens clothes (when have you ever seen an 11-12 year old with the same top half as me ? and a 10-11 with the same bottom half ?) but childrens clothes are CHILDRENS CLOTHES, the majority have stupid designs on them so the only actual stuff i can get is plain boring stuff, which to be fair i do wear a lot of, but it would be nice to have something that fits nice & isn't plain. womens clothes would be the next step, which is fine for skinny jeans 'cause they're skin tight, but how the hell can i wear womens pants ? they'd just look and feel wrong. oh and don't even get me started on womens tops, they're made for women. in england i can survive 'cause topman/river island/gap and a few other high street stores do the size "xs" but here (where strangely enough the majority of the male population are thinner than in england) this is an impossibility. if i was going for designer stuff i would be fine because small is small and it fits, but let's be honest i don't really have the bank balance to be doing my clothes shopping in galeries la fayette now. i know this seems like such a trivial little rant but when i have nothing i really want to wear i don't really want to go out in just some boring any old clothes so......

i really wish i had a job here in france, my mental health and stability is getting battered, i really like to do something other than study/exercise/walk/eat. i like knowing that i'm doing something that is earning money/i have an income coming in, sad as it sounds like. i've watched so much will and grace today that i'm nearly done with it all, but to be fair i've never seen the last series so it's all new and i have done my homework today as well. oh yeah, the homework, i had to translate from spanish to french, which i thought would be quite simple, but it took twice as long as normal (which i suppose is obvious why but it didn't occur to me beforehand) because in my head i was translating to english then to french.

tomorrow i have a class in the far out campus for 45 bloody minutes at 12.45 and then another class at 5 until SEVEN ! by which point it will be practically pitch black and i may get murdered walking from the bus stop. i know i have complained a lot in this entry but it is what i do best and despite it all i am really enjoying france.
2 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Thursday, October 12th, 2006

Time:11:57 am.
Mood: okay.
i think that one of the main reasons i don't update this often at all is because i can never be bothered to sit here and list everything i've been doing since i last updated, alas, i am just going to rant from now on.

well, france is nice, althought it is kind of driving me insane not having a job, so no income except for student loan and erasmus grant. my level of french simply isn't at the standard that i could be working yet though. before i came here people always said to me that this would be the most memorable thing i ever did, you know, living abroad, i mean i know it'll be memorable, but how would i be able to forget anywhere i've ever lived ? yeah. it's not been that exciting really, it's just somewhere to live, i do find myself bored around the same amount of time, or perhaps even more because i haven't got a job ? uni is a mission, they speak and i swear a two hour lecture with no break is far too long for anyone to bother listening, and when it's in french i just loose track of what they're saying and it's hard to get back into it then, so i just switch off.

i swear as well, that no one knows when i'm not at class anyway, so i'm always really tempted not to go, except today i do have my first third year spanish class so i will go to that, but they have classes so late you know. my class on a monday starts at five ! i like to have my dinner at five thirty, so i've found myself skipping my dinner on mondays, or the class. today my class is at three, which i suppose is an acceptable time, but still, i won't be home until at least 5.30 or later, but i can work with that, i will just put my rice in a pot of water before i go so it's been washed for when i get home.

i leant one of my friends that i've only known since i've been here 100 euros today, that could have been a mistake but he lives on this floor, so it's not like i don't know where he lives, but i will get it back, i'm quite confident anyway.

just now i got an email off this french girl who wants to do one of those things where you meet up and spend half an hour talking in french, half in english, i'll email her and try to arrange a time, it really will help as i am speaking less and less french as the days go by, but i suppose it is half in english, so i should try and meet a spanish person, but why would they want to speak half in french and half in spanish with someone who isn't fluent in either ?

i don't particularly love the green tea they sell here, it always tastes a bit citrusy, or something, it's nice don't get me wrong, but i really like clipper green tea i have in england, well my mum has sent me a parcel (which should be here today, but wasnt half an hour ago) and she said there are some suprises in there, so her knowing me there will be at least one packet of tea bags in there.

i'm getting the train to basel on saturday again (i went the other week too) so that should be good, i just need to actually start keeping an eye on what i'm spending because i'm going to have no money very soon, i wonder how often the erasmus grant gets paid, i really do think it's every semester, but i could be wrong. i mean, sonal got £1800 and scarlett and i got £900 but we are going to two different countries, whereas she is staying in france, but the other people say that sonal will get another installment in the next term, so surely mine and scarlett should have got the same amount as her ? the mind boggles.

i'm cutting down smoking with an eventual aim to quit but these last few days i've smoked more than i should be, but i don't know why, i guess sometimes i just forget that i'm trying to quit, and when i did cut down, i was eating a lot more, and i know i can afford to put weight on, but i don't really want to, but it's kind of a catch 22 because whenever i eat i automatically want a cigarette, so in theory, if i just had three meals a day, a cigarette after each meal, i would smoke less, but the conundrum is, do i snack or smoke ? to be honest i'd normally just smoke, but i must fight the urge to do either.
2 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

Time:10:50 pm.
Mood: excited.
i'm moving to france on friday

jeez i'm getting independant
5 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Thursday, February 23rd, 2006

Time:1:59 am.
Mood: tired.
hello livejournal

i keep leaving this weeks to update, but yeah.

i have seen the strokes ! and kelly clarkson and goldfrapp and broken social scene. yadda yadda yadda.

met dion for the first time which was nice

also; my computer is kind of broken which is shit.

coursework all due next week, words : 0.

NEED to do my roots.

a gay from nottingham is coming this weekend.

found out i have something in common with something pretty close to me last night, yep.

some picturesCollapse )

more pictures to come when someone has sent me them, &i am going to update more i think.
8 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Tuesday, January 17th, 2006

Time:5:57 pm.
Mood: depressed.
there doesn't go a day when i don't think about it.

latest pictures of me.Collapse )
10 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Sunday, January 1st, 2006

Time:8:01 pm.
Mood: okay.
good-bye two thousand and five.
i'm doing a write up of the year.
januaryCollapse )
februaryCollapse )
marchCollapse )
aprilCollapse )
mayCollapse )
juneCollapse )
11 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

Time:7:40 pm.
Mood: sad.
so my wallet has gone missing.
theres a possibility i may die without it.
i'm sure i had it last night when i got in, i had a guy over to stay after poptastic.
but he was really nice, so i don't think he would have stolen it.
any ideas anyone ?

12 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Monday, December 12th, 2005

Time:11:03 am.
Mood: cold.
so this is going to be a big bastard update.
i've not done this plainly coz i couldnt be arsed.
anyway, i'll update from when i went to london.
the week before last i went to london on the friday to see megan, i had been meaning to do this forever & scarling. were playing at club stay beautiful so this was the perfect opportunity. i got the train mid afternoon & met megan & her stylist peter at pizza express in soho. we went for drinks & then back to megans to start getting wrecked & make ourselves look pretty.
the one picture i could be bothered to takeCollapse )
stay beautiful was fun, if not boiling. but scarling. were really good, at first i thought they were shit, but it was all fixed when they sorted the sound out. i met richard in stay beautiful who was really nice, though i think iain being there & saying he was gross in front of his face ruined any chance of me ever seeing him again. craig was there & it was really nice to meet him, he stayed at megans coz he was stuck for a place to stay. the next day saw me go home on a first class trip on virgin trains, on which i drank free alcohol & slept the whole way.
on monday i had to do an assessed presentation in uni, which was pretty shit, then i met iain & hayley in manchester because they were staying at mine for the liverpool scarling. gig. we got ready & went. it was nice to see angel <33, jilly, sam & lauren. this was my favourite out of the three scarling. performances.
scarling. & usCollapse )
then on tuesday i went to london again, my train wasn't until 5pm so i fucked around here for a bit. when i got to piccadilly i was shocked to find my train ticket was first class. i got drunk on the train & slept for some of it. when i got to london megan & i went back to hers briefly & then we went to see the eighties matchbox at ulu. the eighties matchbox were stunning, the new guitarist has really settled into the band now.
wednesday was a fun day, i went to audition a make up artist with megan, to the bank, to lunch, to practise & then megans stylist came round to sort some stuff out. we then went to see scarling. for the last time, we were both so tired, and the crowd was 99% dickheads. performance wise this was the best i think scarling. were but the atmosphere & people in the venue was just shite. i really liked the new version of so long, scarecrow, but i feel that if they took out the "coockoo" part it would have sounded a lot more coherent.
i came back to manchester on thursday & slept the whole way. after work i went out for pizza with jess & then life was back to normal on friday.
on saturday i was in work & in the evening it was my work's xmas do. the food was horrible, but i really like the people i work with. we ended up in fifth avenue somehow & jessica & i had bandaids on our faces.
workCollapse )
11 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

Time:1:06 am.
Mood: depressed.
i'm so fed up.
of everything.
& to top it all off
3 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Monday, November 7th, 2005

Subject:dirty weekend
Time:12:15 am.
Mood: calm.
the last few days have been mainly about:
>working 8-4 and falling asleep in work
>doing rachels hair and having it look fantastic:
imgsCollapse )
>rachel & i taking pictures:
poster girl & boyCollapse )
>going to 42nd street & writing on people
>getting off work early
>going to evol
>needing to sleep
>getting up at late o clock
>getting ready:
thats hotCollapse )
>meeting luke & rachel, briefly
>going to le bateau
>meeting sam:
art starCollapse )
>kissing sam
>laughing with the taxi driver
>finally getting along with iain
>throwing up in my room.
6 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Friday, November 4th, 2005

Time:8:53 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
i'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair
&; send him on his way.
hooker waitress ?.

Tuesday, October 11th, 2005

Time:12:09 pm.
Mood: confused.
o2 are telling me i have sent 300 texts already since the 1st of october. i'm baffled
2 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Friday, October 7th, 2005

Time:12:29 am.
Mood: good.
i've not got anything exciting to update really 'cause it would seem i spend all my time in uni & work.
on tuesday, rachel, jenny & i went to satan's hollow, we were not impressed with queueing up for TIME & the music was shite. i got quite drunk & it was lovely to see caroline & becky there, it really is crap that caroline & i are in none of the same classes.
pictures i haven't posted yetCollapse )
.Collapse )
2 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Sunday, October 2nd, 2005

Time:5:14 am.
Mood: high.
i decided that whilst i was high i would go for a walk.
the walk was fun.
a pakistani man walked me home 'cause i was lost.
3 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Friday, September 30th, 2005

Time:2:05 am.
Mood: okay.
well the past week has been quite alright, several things have happened, i think i will do this in bullet points:
>went out to jilly's with fa & rachel; fifteen jagermeisters plus other alcohol, really does not make me a fun boy
>went home to see mum & went to the pilgrim & las vegas with rachel: i got the mcfly comment again, it's dead original
>met sara on sunday, it was lovely, we went for drinks & i curse myself for not starting to learn italian earlier
>started classes again, early mornings are hell
>went to see queenadreena with iain & to poptastic with him & jenny: we also met angel, fa, nikki & pam: the gig was amazing & the night out was fun
>went to see the house i was meant to be moving into, i'm going to look into leaving these halls & moving in there, money wise & to live with people i like
>talking a lot to a new friend.

and now, a picture, coz i'm gay like that
1 boy + 1 camera + 1 mirrorCollapse )
8 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Wednesday, September 21st, 2005

Time:3:45 am.
Mood: high.
the last few days have been pretty spunky.
i came back from a very (but probably deserved) overly emotional trip to nottingham, in which iain & i decided that to be friends it will be better for us not to see one another for a while, although i really do want him to come & see goldfapp with me.
sunday saw me go to welcome rachel to gaychester, we went for drinks & took pictures, which i shall upload when she gets the internet. i got very drunk & apparently made a good impression on all of rachel's flatmates, which can only be a good thing.
monday saw the worst hangover in a while & work.
tuesday, i went to get a scaffolding in my ear, and i'd be lying if i said it wasn't sexy, then i went to work. after work i met jenny, we discussed vivienne & drank wine & partook in substance abuse.
then we met rachel & went to poptastic, the music in poptastic was very good, higlights included:
>hole - celebrity skin
>gwen stefani - what you waiting for
>the bravery - an honest mistake
>peaches - fuck the pain away
>fischerspooner - emerge
>ladytron - seventeen
>kelly clarkson - since u been gone
>no doubt - just a girl
>ladytron - sugar
>peaches - shake yer dix
>placebo - nancy boy
>blondie - one way or another
>marilyn manson - this is the new shit
>girls aloud - no good advice
>ladytron - playgirl
>pink - just like a pill
>garbage - why do you love me
>miss kittin - requiem for a hit.

and i have to be up at nine to enrole at uni, great.
2 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Friday, September 16th, 2005

Time:8:55 pm.
Mood: okay.
last night, iain & i went to see mindless self indulgence, it was very good.
i'm happy to say i feel a lot better having seen him, and a few things, probably things he doesn't even know happened have made me realise what i actually want, so i'll be trying to keep the moaning on here to a bare minimum from now on :P
i've realised that for now, iain isn't the person for me, i'm not going to go into why, because i know he'll probably read this, and not that it'd be slagging him off, at all, just a few things have made me realise this.
i admit that i'm not completely over him yet, but come on, it's not even been a month yet !

i love jack cousteau.
9 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Wednesday, September 14th, 2005

Time:9:01 pm.
Mood: lonely.
i'm updating from an internet cafe cause i won't have access to the web for a few days.
i'm making progress though, i'm not letting the whole break up thing rule my life as much as i was before.
i miss having internet access :( & i'm now starting to feel super lonely, the kind of lonliness i felt when i first moved to manchester, it's not very good.
i bought myself a new top from vivienne westwood though, it's plain, but nice & it will go okay with the scarf :D
7 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Monday, September 12th, 2005

Subject:emotionally abused.
Time:1:06 am.
Mood: sad.
last night i went out with budgie to the krazy house. i got really fucked, and i kind of wish i hadn't.
i thought that taking any substance i could get my hands on would help me feel less sad, but it enhanced every sad feeling.
i couldn't stop thinking about the break up & i got to the point where i was fuming mad, i texted iain some very nasty & out of order messages. i felt this really strong hatred for him, but i know it wasn't hatred, simply missing him. we spoke on the phone & i tried to apologise. today i came down like a bastard.

i'm still in liverpool, but i'm going to manchester tomorrow, to go to the doctors & work, i hope my appointment goes okay.
8 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

Wednesday, September 7th, 2005

Time:1:35 am.
Mood: drunk.
i've not been able to keep a meal down in over a week, i'm starting to get quite worried, i'm going to try again tomorrow as i think it's getting a bit better 'cause i had three crumpets earlier & i've not seen them yet, but when i tried to have another salad at lunch i brought that back up.

in myself i'm feeling alright, i won't lie, i've been better. i go back to uni in two weeks, and i'm sort of excited, not for uni, but just for all my friends to be back, the last few weeks have been awful, being alone since we started the "break"

i'm going to try not drinking tomorrow night too, but i don't know if i'll be able to sleep.

it worries me that i agree with everything kelly clarkson is singing in this song.

only time will tell.
4 just go nameless - hooker waitress ?.

LiveJournal for boy on the radio.

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